Sojourner on Earth

How to Get Through the First Week After (or get through anything)

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Find a space that is yours or that you can make yours for five to ten minutes.  If no other place is available, the bathroom in your home or even a bathroom stall at work--when you're pressed for time off will do.

Breathe


Sit down and quiet your mind with the Trinity Breath.  Breathe in through your nose for a count of three, hold the air in your diaphragm for a count of three, let the air out through your nose during a count of three. Do this three times.

Remember

Recall a moment in time when you felt calm and gentle and gracious and in peace.  Remember what was happening, remember where you were, if you were standing or sitting.  Remember the environment, were you inside or outside? Was it day or night? Were there other people around? Do you remember the faces of loved ones? Was there the comforting smell of home or camp fire or gentlemen's cologne? Did you hear voices or music, noises from the street or the wind? Did you feel reassurance, encouragement, anticipation? Remember and relive that moment. 

Anchor

Take note of the recurring thought that pops up when you conduct this exercise.  It may seem like a different thought or symbol or gesture that springs to mind and you will be able to tie it together in a common thread.  When you identify the thread, you will be able to invoke the feeling of calmness by making the gesture, bringing up the thought or drawing the symbol.

Reframe

When you get to this place of calm, think about what needs to be done next. You can go through this exercise five, ten or even a hundred times before you get to the "first" next thing; the important point is that there is something to do next for everyone and especially for you. Everything that needs to happen and "get done" will happen or get done in time.  In time and according to your time, the parts of your life will come together, piece by peace until the whole is filled.

Form Outcomes

Plan a way to reach out to another to gain stability and offer support to them, like steadying yourself by extending your hand.
Create a learning experience to share with a person that experiences a similar loss in the future. Prepare your description of the first month, the sixth month and the past year as you would like them to be: from the freshly painful at first then more joyful as time passed until you can only remember the time before with positives and use the memories in drawing strength to accomplish tasks you only considered and recognizing an attitude of gratitude for the past that was created.